"I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home" is a song written by Dewayne Blackwell, and recorded by American country music artist David Frizzell. It was released in April 1982 as the first single from the album The Family's Fine, But This One's All Mine. The song was Frizzell's only number one on the country chart as a solo artist. The single went to number one for one week and spent a total of 14 weeks in country music's top 40.